Wednesday, March 12, 2014

13 Jobs You Thought You Wanted

'You like sleep? This is not the career for you.'


young angry man standing above a laptop with an office chair preparing to destroy it
It's easy to idealize the jobs you don't have.

We've all dreamed of being a doctor or an astronaut, or publishing a hit novel. We sit in our cubicles trolling the job listings, all of them sounding infinitely preferable to what we're currently doing. But as a recent Reddit thread proves, even the seemingly toniest of jobs has its downsides.

And there are some serious, serious downsides.

In the thread, workers spoke out about the most hated aspects of their careers. From authors to programmers to aerospace engineers, here are all the reasons why you shouldn't enter a particular career field. Check them out, because the world is a cold, dark place.

NOTE: Reddit sources are anonymous, and can't be independently verified by AOL Jobs. Some posts have been edited for clarity.

student working in the chemical ...
Shutterstock / Elnur

You might think years of rigorous, demanding education would pay off in the long run. Not necessarily, writes hoagie612.

"I have a degree in Molecular Genetics and Chemistry and I'm working on leukemia and thyroid cancer. A manager at Panera makes more money than me."

All Nighter - Man Asleep on Computer
Getty Images

Our boundless obsession with technology means that computer programmers are in demand and often handsomely compensated. But it's not without its own set of frustrations.

"You will spend hours on end writing documentation so that even the dumbest plebe can understand what your program does, write up a design, outsource the actual coding, and then end up with a mess of a program that some intern in India whipped up without giving it a second thought," writes AlonsoMalfonso. "Surprise, you're now going to debug that mess and make sure it does what it's supposed to."

Frustrated man hitting computer monitor with hammer
Alamy

"Your work day will consist of project managers telling you they need 10 things done that are all the utmost priority," writes NorwegianPearl.

"You'll try and tell them that they can't all be utmost priority or that defeats the idea of a priority rating system. But nobody will listen. Like some sick twisted Dilbert comic that's become your real life."

A very angry senior lady holding a rolling pin and threatening to whack someone with it her husband Isolated on white
Alamy

SoberHungry had some colorful comments about their chosen profession.

"Do you like poop? Do you enjoy cleaning poop? Stuck on walls? On ceilings? Do you also enjoy being hit on, hit, and occasionally verbally abused? Do you ever come home from work wondering if there is a job that will destroy your body even faster? Come be a nursing assistant! Where the poop is plenty!"

the thoughtful woman   a...
Shutterstock / pzAxe

Looks like you won't be living in that fancy high-rise building you helped design.

"Architecture: You like sleep, job security, high salary, paid overtime and lots of job opportunities? This is not the career for you," writes ThereIsBearC*m.

failed test or exam and...
Shutterstock / Leszek Glasner

"Teaching doesn't end," writes marshmallowsbunny.

"It's the weekend? Grade papers and prep for next week. It's break? Grade papers and prep some more. Summer break? You'll get two weeks of sanity then start worrying about next year. Parents will yell at you. Students will be disrespectful to you. You will watch some amazing kids not live up to their potential because they are lazy."

Worried man with paper balls
Getty Images/Vetta

7. Author
Moonknight321 neatly summarized the bleak realities of the writing life.

"You'll spend years drafting and redrafting, will get rejected a hundred different times by various publishers, and maybe, just maybe, someone will eventually decide to print it. And then chances are if it gets reviewed, it'll be panned, and no one besides your mom is going to read it, and it will rot away on the back shelves of libraries no one's visited in decades, and all your thoughts/insights/ideas about humanity and all its wonders will mean nothing to anybody ever."

vet and a beautiful British cat
Getty Images

"If you love animals, don't become a vet," writes RobotHeather.

"You see them at their worst and they're not exactly pleased to see you. Think the owners are going to be grateful? They'll mostly complain about the high cost of your services while you struggle to pay your enormous student loans on your $45k salary. An enormous amount of time will be spent covered in blood and fecal matter. And we enjoy one of the higher suicide rates for a reason."

chx_earth_explode
Flickr

Even the folks designing space shuttles aren't immune to bureaucratic woes.

"I really hope you like being a cog in the military industrial complex because NASA doesn't employ hardly anybody. Guess who makes all those cool satellites...major defense contractors. And the people who send up the most satellites? The military and the NRO, so I hope you like spying on and assisting in killing people. You could be even luckier and directly work on drones or making bombs!" writes AltonBrownsB*lls.

Os looks da série Mad Men (Don Draper)
Flickr

Believe it or not, working at an advertising agency might be even more soul-crushing than they make it look on Mad Men.

"Your Creative Director is literally Satan. When it comes to you, his job is to criticize. Don't worry, he won't actually help you. He won't actually lead you in any direction. He'll just tell you it's s*** and you should start again, that or you haven't brought enough options to him and you should work harder," writes jimvz.

Paparazzi image of protesting angry celebrity caught unawares on camera
Alamy

"Think you'll be on the sidelines of an NFL game, tracking snow leopards in Nepal, or on the beaches of St. Martin with scantily clad women?" writes Wormnado. "Nope. Most likely you'll get to hang out with strangers on the weekends at weddings where you shouldn't be drinking. Eight of 10 people don't want to pay you right because their 'cousin has a camera' and will do it for free and they can't appreciate art."

Male surgeon wearing scrubs and mask. Weary expression. Isolated on white.
Alamy

12. Doctor
You might make bank as a doctor, but money won't save you from falling into a pit of existential despair.

"Prepare yourself for knowledge concerning: how cancer is slowly going to destroy you and everyone you love; how neurodegenerative disease is going to destroy you and everyone you love; how pollution and environmental contamination are going to destroy you and everyone (and everything) you love," writes figgy_puddin.

man in black shirt having a...
Shutterstock / Feel Photo Art


There really is no business like show business. Let's keep it that way, okay?

"There are only two places in America you can make a full-time living with steady work in film/TV production: New York and Los Angeles," writes FishyFred. "You might be able to do it in D.C., but only for specific things. Already, your cost of living is assured to be stratospheric. You will get paid pretty well, but because it's nearly impossible to string together two or more gigs without a gap in there, you're never going to know quite how much money you need in the bank."

Multiplex