10 Jobs That Make Opening Day Possible

Get in the game

Brewers Giants Baseball
Hall of Famer Willie Mays waves to fans as he is introduced by San Francisco Giants announcers Jon Miller and Dave Flemming at a Milwaukee Brewers game in May 2012.

By Rachel Zupek Farrell

Depending on what part of the country you live in, you may not know this, but -- it's March. Which means that April -- and baseball season -- is around the corner. And that means a certain group of people have to get back to work.

From your buddies who walk the aisles with stadium fare to the folks making magic happen on the field, here are 10 jobs that make opening day possible.

1. Agent*
What they do: Agents represent various athletes and negotiate such deals as pay, endorsements and employment.
Pay: Varies depending on the agent's players' salaries

2. Bartender
What they do: You know what they do. In fact, you probably know what they do, where they live and their favorite color after a few trips to the bar.
Pay: About $9 an hour, plus tips

3. Coach
What they do: Teach players the skills they need to be better at baseball. There are several coaches on the team, including pitching and hitting coaches, as well as base and bullpen coaches.
Pay: $150,000 - $700,000 per season, according to a 2011 article in The Wall Street Journal

4. Concession stand worker
What they do: Whether it's walking up and down the aisles with hot dogs or serving up Dippin' Dots behind the counter, concession stand workers provide customer service, food preparation and more.
Pay: About $8.84 an hour

5. General manager
What they do: Most major league head coaches also serve as the general manager, overseeing the baseball team in its entirety.
Pay: Approximately $1 million per year, which varies based on tenure, experience, location and success

6. Grounds maintenance worker
What they do: They're the ones making sure the field and its surroundings look pristine -- the grass is cut short enough, the ivy has been watered and dirt has been smoothed. Well, before it gets ripped up again.
Pay: $23,970

7. Scout
What they do: Most of the players wouldn't be there without the help of a scout. They're the ones finding the best baseball players in the world to recruit for the big leagues.
Pay: $28,360

8. Broadcaster and/or announcer
What they do: Provide commentary and play-by-plays of the game via television or radio.
Pay: $26,230

9. Umpire
What they do: Umpires are those folks behind home plate calling pitches and plays, making sure everyone follows the rules.
Pay: $23,290

10. Camera operator
What they do: For those who couldn't get tickets to the game (or who have seats in the nosebleeds), camera operators shoot the game and broadcast it on local TV stations and on TVs within the stadium.
Pay: $40,300

Cool Jobs: April Fools!

Three are real and two are not. Challenge yourself!

By Mack Gelber

Berlin, Germany, extras for the premiere of World of Warcraft Cataclysm

This week's Cool Jobs are not cool at all. In fact, they're totally lame.

April Fool's!

In the spirit of the holiday, we've rounded up three cool jobs you won't believe are actually real...and added another two that are pure fiction. Can you guess which is which? Click through the jobs to find out!

1. Rider/Dancer
What it is: Did you know that Dolly Parton basically has her own version of Chuck E. Cheese's? Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede now has three locations in the southern U.S., serving up country grub with a hearty side of crazy. It's a three-course dinner theater featuring dance numbers, bluegrass, pig races, references to southern separatism...in other words, pretty much everything except Dolly Parton. The attraction's Branston location is looking to hire dancers with horseback riding experience, because of course. Let's hope you're not doing both of those things at the same time.

> Apply for a job as a rider/dancer

lab assistant with laboratory rats
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2. Rodent Surgery Technician
What it is: Here are some of the key words of the thriving rodent surgery industry: "non-invasive;" "homeothermic warming;" "rat blood." Also, "cost-effective," because if there's one thing everyone hates, it's rodent surgery that's just too damn expensive. As a technician, you'll be tasked with tracking all animal shipments, and act as a key backup in the operating room. So to all aspiring rodent surgeons out there, we say, "Rats off!" .

..Actually, no we don't. No one should ever say that.

> Apply for a job as a rodent surgery technician

Busy Beaver
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3. Human Beaver
What it is: "Human beaver." That's the industry term for construction professionals tasked with building small dams and barricades. Backyard flooded with pond runoff after the last big storm? Better call the human beaver and get the situation under control! Unlike actual beavers, these workers don't use sticks and bits of driftwood, but modern materials, such as quick-drying cement, and their services can be pricey.

> Apply for a job as a human beaver

Portrait of Exterminator Ready for Next Mission
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4. Sales Inspector - Termite Control
What it is: Nothing sells itself, and that's especially true of termite control products. After all, what makes your insect death-spray any better than the other guy's down the road? That's where you come in. As the resident sales inspector, it'll be up to you to keep accounts happy, whether they're new customers or longtime users of your product. Does that mean taking them out for vodka-soaked Mad Men lunches? We don't see why not!

> Apply for a job as a sales inspector - termite control

Berlin, Germany, extras for the premiere of World of Warcraft Cataclysm
5. Gamer Trainer
What it is: This one's for you, World of Warcraft fans. Just as you can hire seasoned pros to help you with your swimming or tennis skills, gamer trainers, or high-ranking players of popular online RPGs, are your best resource for stepping up your abilities as a knight, fire mage, or whatever you choose as your gaming avatar. The hiring team is seeking an expert to give personal lessons over Google Hangouts--but if you're curious, be ready. You'll be subject to an audition process as you go head-to-head with your potential co-workers.

> Apply for a job as a gamer trainer

2014’s top occupations and metros for temporary employment growth

Three machinists in workspace by machine talking

By Eric Gilpin, president of Staffing & Recruiting Group at CareerBuilder

In the short time since the economic recession, America’s workforce has changed in many ways. Many workers have sought higher education and certifications, some have switched industries to try out new careers, while others have discovered the benefits of being a temporary or contract worker. These different paths are not mutually exclusive; in fact, they often intersect.
In recent years, temporary employment has not only accelerated, but new data suggests its upward trajectory will continue throughout 2014. According to CareerBuilder and Economic Modeling Specialists Intl., more than 2.9 million U.S. workers were employed in temporary jobs in 2013, jumping 28 percent since 2010 and outpacing the 5 percent growth rate for all jobs. This is a hiring trend that employers are embracing for a number of reasons.

The appeal of temporary work
The boom in temporary workers is neither a mystery nor an isolated phenomenon. Companies want more flexibility in their respective workforces to quickly ramp up and ramp down their businesses as needed. Temporary workers provide that flexibility.
Temporary employment is growing across industries and metros, and the benefits of this flexibility isn’t only for the employer. Temporary and contract work provides great opportunities for workers to test-drive different work experiences as they explore new industries, put their new education and certifications into practice, and network with potential employers. For job seekers looking to bring variety to their search or those who may find a more compatible work life in temporary employment, this hiring trend can be the next big step in a career.
In a separate CareerBuilder and Harris Poll study, 42 percent of employers reported that they plan to hire temporary or contract workers in 2014, up from 40 percent last year.  Of these employers, two in five (43 percent) plan to transition some temporary employees into full-time, permanent staff.

The fastest growers
To see how these business needs may align with a job seeker’s, CareerBuilder and EMSI compiled a list of the fastest-growing occupations and metros for temporary employment in 2014, using EMSI’s extensive labor market database of over 90 national and state employment resources.
First, top occupations for growth in temporary employment were identified. Among occupations that pay in the middle-wage to high-wage range and are expected to see the greatest percentage increase for temporary job growth in 2014, are:


The top metropolitan areas for temp workers
Besides these specific occupations that are seeing a boon in temporary employment, there are metros across the country taking part in the hiring trend. The metropolitan statistical areas that employed at least 20,000 temporary workers in 2013 and are projected to have the greatest percentage increase for temporary job growth in 2014 are:
ORLANDO, FL 24,175
MEMPHIS, TN 27,757
DETROIT, MI 51,438
CHICAGO, IL 157,839
DALLAS, TX 102,938
ATLANTA, GA 74,303

As this wide range of occupations and metros indicates, there are plenty of benefits to temporary employment, and job seekers will have many opportunities to share the rewards in this growing market.

Careers in the Child Care Industry

Many job opportunities exist for people who like children

By CareerBuilder
little girl is playing with...
By Kenya McCullum

With American parents working harder than ever to make ends meet, it's imperative for families to have access to qualified child care providers they can trust. In order to fill these positions, many people pursue degrees in child care, which help them learn how to properly take care of children, as well as run child care facilities.

Types of child care degrees
Child development degree programs prepare students for a number of positions in the industry, including careers in education, social services, and government. Students who earn bachelor's degrees in child care typically pursue entry-level positions, while those who want to enter administration, supervisory, or research positions are generally required to obtain master's or doctoral degrees.

> Find a job in education

Similarly, child care management degrees are for those interested in not only working with children, but running child care facilities. In these programs, students explore topics such as business accounting, marketing, parenting, child development, nutrition, child safety, and first aid in order to give them the knowledge and skills they to manage a child care facility. Graduates can pursue a number of careers, including day care manager, preschool teacher, or child care worker.

Careers in child care

Child care worker - Child care workers are responsible for the basic needs of the children in their care. The duties of these professionals include preparing meals and snacks for children, changing diapers, ensuring that children maintain good hygiene, and determining when they should exercise or take naps. In addition, child care workers are responsible for engaging children in educational activities, monitoring their emotional and developmental progress, reporting any abnormal behavior to the parents, and helping children develop their interests.

There are a number of different kinds of child care workers, including family care providers, nannies, and babysitters. These professionals work in several settings, including families' home, preschools, public schools, and child care centers. The education requirements of child care workers depend on where they seek employment. While some in the field can get a job with a high school diploma, many workers are required to obtain at least an associate's or bachelor's degree. In addition, some states require that child care workers earn a certification to demonstrate their knowledge and skills. Also, these professionals may be required to be certified in CPR or first aid, depending on the requirements of their employer.

According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, employment of child care workers is expected to increase by 20 percent nationwide between 2010 and 2020.

> Find a job as a childcare worker

Preschool teacher - Preschool teachers work with children, generally between the ages of three and five, to introduce different subjects to them -- such as science, reading, and writing -- that they will learn when they go to kindergarten. In addition, these professionals organize daily activities for their students so they have periods to learn, play, and rest. Preschool teachers are also required to plan and develop a curriculum for their students that monitors their motor, language, and social skills; inform parents when there are signs of emotional or developmental problems with their children; and keep records of how students are progressing in class. Preschool teachers work in a variety of settings, including charitable and religious organizations, as well as public and private schools.

Those who want to pursue a career as a preschool teacher are generally required to earn at least a bachelor's degree, although some employers will hire workers with just a high school diploma. In addition, some states require preschool teachers to earn national certifications, such as the Child Development Associate (CDA) or the Child Care Professional (CCP).

The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that there will be a 25 percent increase in the amount of jobs available for preschool teachers in the United States between 2010 and 2020.

Preschool or child care center director - Preschool and child care center directors are responsible for completely running their respective child care programs. Duties of these professionals include hiring, training, and supervising staff; creating budgets and ensuring those budgets are adhered to; developing policies for their facilities and communicating them to parents and staff; and ensuring that the facility is in compliance with state laws.

Preschool and child care center directors generally earn at least a bachelor's degree. In addition, depending on what state they live in, they may be required to obtain a license, as well as various professional certifications. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, demand for these professionals is expected to grow by 25 percent nationally between 2010 and 2020.

Where the Best-Paying Temp Jobs Are Now

If you've got the skills, these industries are hiring

By Carol Kopp

AWADRJ Truck Driver Using CB Radio

It's no surprise that so-called temporary jobs have been easier to get than permanent employment, years after the Great Recession ended. A new study shows that there's a real boom in those no-ties jobs, for workers who have the right skills.

If you're willing to take a shot, there's even a chance of a permanent full-time job down the road.

That's the message of a new report by CareerBuilder and Economic Modeling Specialists International (EMSI). They trawled through a database that pulls from more than 90 national and state employment resources to find out what jobs are in demand, and where they're most likely to be found.

Here are the jobs in middle- to high-paying fields that are showing the most growth in demand in 2014. They're listed in order of the greatest growth in openings, with the median hourly earnings they pay:

> Find a job as a Human resources specialist: $26.83

> Find a job as a Customer service rep: $14.70

> Find a job as a Construction laborer: $14.42

> Find a job as an Administrative assistant: $15.58

> Find a job as a Registered nurse: $31.48

> Find a job in Bookkeeping, accounting and auditing: $16.91

> Find a job in General maintenance and repair workers: $16.93

> Find a job as an Inspector, tester, sorter, sampler or weigher: $16.57

> Find a job as a Truck driver: $18.37

> Find a job as a Machinist: $18.99

> Find a job as a Sales rep or other sales professional: $24.45

> Find a job in Computer support: $22.32

All of those job categories show 3 percent to 4 percent growth in demand from 2013 to 2014.

If those job skills are in the highest demand, the general trend is clear. Nearly 3 million Americans were employed in temporary jobs in 2013, an increase of 28 percent since 2010, according to EMSI. That far outpaces the 5 percent growth rate for all jobs.

In a new Harris Poll commissioned by CareerBuilder, 42 percent of employers reported that they plan to hire temporary or contract workers in 2014, up from 40 percent last year.

Of these employers, some 43 percent plan to transition some of their temporary employees into full-time, permanent staff jobs.

"Coming off of a hard-hitting recession, companies want more flexibility in their workforce to quickly ramp up and ramp down their businesses as needed. Temporary workers provide that flexibility," said Eric Gilpin, president of CareerBuilder's Staffing & Recruiting Group, in a statement. "Temporary employment is growing across industries and metros, and providing great opportunities for workers to test-drive different work experiences and network with employers."

CareerBuilder and EMSI also compiled a list of the metropolitan areas that are showing the fastest growth in temporary employment in 2014.

Grand Rapids, Michigan tops the list, with a projected 8 percent growth in the number of temporary job openings from 2013 to 2014, followed by Indianapolis, Indiana, at 7 percent.

Other hot metro areas included Seattle-Tacoma, WA, Orlando, FL; Riverside-San Bernardino, CA; Memphis, TN; Detroit, MI; Portland, OR, Chicago, IL; Los Angeles, CA; Dallas, TX, and Atlanta, GA.

Though the new study focuses on temporary jobs, its generally positive findings are echoed in the latest numbers on employment. Government data released last week showed the number of Americans filing for unemployment benefits the previous week close to a three-month low. Meanwhile, factory activity in the mid-Atlantic region rebounded.

Those reports were seen as a sign of a stronger economic recovery ahead, after a long hard winter.    

The Most In-Demand Jobs Now

Recruiters are aggressively trying to fill these positions

Recruiters are scouring social media for talent.

LinkedIn's recent research indicates only 15 percent of workers globally are completely satisfied in their current jobs; 45 percent are passive candidates, but open to speaking to someone about new opportunities. Recruiters seize on this population of passive candidates and recognize that social recruiting helps them tap into well-qualified workers. Increasingly, recruiters are turning to social media to locate candidates that match the qualifications of open positions, underscoring that talent-seeking via social media is fast becoming the norm in the recruitment industry. (Tweet this thought.)

Shon Burton, Founder of HiringSolved, a global social recruiting tool that delivers candidates across all skill sets and industries, noted that social recruiting is quickly becoming the norm. Candidates should be aware that they are being searched according to skill, talent, demonstrated passion and industry knowledge via social media. Using these tools well improves their chances of landing their dream jobs.

To uncover the jobs with most demand, HiringSolved examined the most searched terms by recruiters via its platform. According to the results, while jobs that require a background in tech remain in hot demand, the healthcare, hospitality and manufacturing industries are undergoing the sharpest rise in recruiter interest via social media.

According to the data, the most in-demand jobs searched in February 2014 (not in the tech sector) are.

1. Health/Healthcare

2. Nurse/RN/Registered Nurse

3. Marketing Manager/Marketing

4. Financial

5. Insurance/Health Insurance

6. Manufacturing

7. Customer Service

8. Non-Profit

9. Human Resources

10. Executive Chef

11. Case Manager

12. Plant Manager

13. Sous Chef

14. Real Estate

15. Cath Lab

"In the battle for top-tier talent, hiring managers are increasingly turning to social recruiting tools to get a competitive edge in identifying potential candidates and broaden their candidate pool across all job sectors," said Burton. "Social recruiting has opened up a massive pool of candidates to organizations, and it's the perfect time. The reality is that the job market has completely changed. Unlike previous generations, there is very little loyalty to a single company. Employees no longer stay with a single company for 25 years. Today, everyone is a candidate."

Top 10 skills tech recruiters are looking for on social media

Across the globe, qualified candidates to fill tech jobs are a hot commodity. The demand for talented coders, developers and language experts many times outweighs the supply.

The top 10 technical skills recruiters searched for in February 2014, include:

1. Java/J2EE/Java Developer - 1.01M

2. C/C++/Objective C - 1.01M

3. Javascript/CSS/HTML - 1.22M

4. SQL/SQL Server/MSSQL - 1.3M

5. .Net/C#/ASP

6. SAP - 1M

7. Linux - 800K

8. Oracle - 880K

9. Ruby/Ruby On – 98K

10. Python - 200K

Most searched job terms in February

Recruiters, sourcers and hiring managers using HiringSolved in February searched through nearly 100 million candidate profiles. The top 15 searched jobs terms were:

1. Software Engineer - 1.63M

2. Account Executive - 826K

3. Mechanical Engineer - 937K

4. Account Manager - 1.9M

5. Computer Science - 1.3M

6. Business Development - 5.6M

7. Customer Service - 4.59M

8. Java Developer - 600K

9. Sales Manager - 5.8M

10. Sales Engineer - 1.3M

11. Process Engineer - 782K

12. Business Analyst - 1.37M

13. Electrical Engineer - 1.6M

14. Registered Nurse - 220K

15. Systems Engineer - 1.2M

C-Suite Search on Social Media

Think recruiters aren't looking on social media to fill high-level positions? Not so fast. (Tweet this thought.) Even companies that are looking to fill executive and managerial roles are turning to social media to get access to the highest tier of talent available. Top C-Suite titles searched for include:

1. Vice President - 973K

2. Director - 4.3M

3. Manager - 2.3M

"If a recruiter isn't using a social recruiting tool, they aren't taking advantage of the fastest and most efficient method to find talent," said Burton. "A few years ago, all recruiters had to go on was the resume. With social profiles ... recruiters have access to a more accurate and updated profile about a person's expertise, providing a more complete picture of a potential candidate. With the wealth of information available, a recruiter would be crazy to make a hire based off just a resume."

How can candidates impress recruiters via social media?

Demonstrate your skills and industry knowledge. For example, a photographer or graphic designer can showcase a portfolio via Tumblr, Pinterest or Instagram. A coder may want to become active in an online community, such as GitHub.

Job seekers can also illustrate there are strong cultural fits for potential workplaces by using social media to showcase their leadership (by heading up groups) and communication skills.

Recruiters are using all the tools at their disposal to find quality candidates; don't miss the opportunity to insert yourself in the places where they look to find an opportunity.    

10 Best Jobs For Introverts

Careers that offer focus and depth

Grand Canyon National Park: 2012 Star Party 1089
By Jacquelyn Smith

Introverts are typically quieter and more reserved than extroverts. They tend to be more focused on internal thoughts and feelings, and get energy from being alone. They're also better suited to some jobs than others, according to a new report from job search site CareerCast.com.

Susan Cain, author of "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking," says introverts can be very social, but because they tend to reach equilibrium in quieter, lower-key environments, professions like astronomer and film editor are a better fit for them.

"They typically prefer jobs that offer some autonomy, privacy, focus, and the ability to work in-depth on interesting projects," Cain says. "Many introverts are in seemingly extroverted professions (such as media and PR) because of their love for the subject, [but] the successful ones honor their own temperament and make sure to recharge their batteries frequently."

All providing independence, strong projected growth, and decent pay, CareerCast.com has identified the following 10 jobs as the best suited to introverted job seekers:

Animal Care and Service Workers

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Annual median salary: $19,970 (caretakers)/$25,270 (trainers)
Projected growth by 2020: 15%

> Find a job in animal care


The Clinton Presidential Library Releases Previously Unreleased Papers
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Annual median salary: $47,340
Projected growth by 2020: 11%

> Find a job as an archivist


The Pleiades
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Annual median salary: $96,460
Projected growth by 2020: 10%

> Find a job in astronomy

Court Reporter

Woman sitting on chair, writing on clipboard
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Annual median salary: $48,160
Projected growth by 2020: 10%

> Find a job as a court reporter

Film/Video Editor

Oct. 20, 2012 - Minneapolis, Mn, U.S. - Jason Oestreicher a  video editor live steamed a chat room and video feed for people par

Annual median salary: $51,300
Projected growth by 2020: 3%

> Find a job as a video editor

Financial Clerk

Businessman talking to businesswoman behind receptionist desk
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Annual median salary: $36,850
Projected growth by 2020: 11%

> Find a job as a financial clerk


Finding Evidence of ET

Annual median salary: $90,890
Projected growth by 2020: 16%

> Find a job in geoscience

Industrial Machine Repairer

A jet airliner turbofan engine repaired by an aeronautical engineer.
Getty Images

Annual median salary: $46,920
Projected growth by 2020: 17%

> Find a job in industrial machine repair

Medical Records Technician

automatic sequencer, GENETIC ANALIZER 3130XL Applied Biosystems allows automatic sequencing of DNA fragmentsand recording of flu
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Annual median salary: $34,160
Projected growth by 2020: 22%

> Find a job as a medical records technician

Social Media Manager

Spanish Startup Companies At Telefonica SA's Wayra Program Center
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Annual median salary: $54,170
Projected growth by 2020: 12%

> Find a job as a social media manager

"You wouldn't think that a job with 'social' right in the name is suited to introverts, but it's a great fit," said Tony Lee, publisher of CareerCast, in a release. "While in-person interaction may not be an introvert's cup of tea, technological outlets allow an introvert to maintain person-to-person communication electronically without the stresses of actual conversation."    

13 Jobs You Thought You Wanted

'You like sleep? This is not the career for you.'

young angry man standing above a laptop with an office chair preparing to destroy it
It's easy to idealize the jobs you don't have.

We've all dreamed of being a doctor or an astronaut, or publishing a hit novel. We sit in our cubicles trolling the job listings, all of them sounding infinitely preferable to what we're currently doing. But as a recent Reddit thread proves, even the seemingly toniest of jobs has its downsides.

And there are some serious, serious downsides.

In the thread, workers spoke out about the most hated aspects of their careers. From authors to programmers to aerospace engineers, here are all the reasons why you shouldn't enter a particular career field. Check them out, because the world is a cold, dark place.

NOTE: Reddit sources are anonymous, and can't be independently verified by AOL Jobs. Some posts have been edited for clarity.

student working in the chemical ...
Shutterstock / Elnur

You might think years of rigorous, demanding education would pay off in the long run. Not necessarily, writes hoagie612.

"I have a degree in Molecular Genetics and Chemistry and I'm working on leukemia and thyroid cancer. A manager at Panera makes more money than me."

All Nighter - Man Asleep on Computer
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Our boundless obsession with technology means that computer programmers are in demand and often handsomely compensated. But it's not without its own set of frustrations.

"You will spend hours on end writing documentation so that even the dumbest plebe can understand what your program does, write up a design, outsource the actual coding, and then end up with a mess of a program that some intern in India whipped up without giving it a second thought," writes AlonsoMalfonso. "Surprise, you're now going to debug that mess and make sure it does what it's supposed to."

Frustrated man hitting computer monitor with hammer

"Your work day will consist of project managers telling you they need 10 things done that are all the utmost priority," writes NorwegianPearl.

"You'll try and tell them that they can't all be utmost priority or that defeats the idea of a priority rating system. But nobody will listen. Like some sick twisted Dilbert comic that's become your real life."

A very angry senior lady holding a rolling pin and threatening to whack someone with it her husband Isolated on white

SoberHungry had some colorful comments about their chosen profession.

"Do you like poop? Do you enjoy cleaning poop? Stuck on walls? On ceilings? Do you also enjoy being hit on, hit, and occasionally verbally abused? Do you ever come home from work wondering if there is a job that will destroy your body even faster? Come be a nursing assistant! Where the poop is plenty!"

the thoughtful woman   a...
Shutterstock / pzAxe

Looks like you won't be living in that fancy high-rise building you helped design.

"Architecture: You like sleep, job security, high salary, paid overtime and lots of job opportunities? This is not the career for you," writes ThereIsBearC*m.

failed test or exam and...
Shutterstock / Leszek Glasner

"Teaching doesn't end," writes marshmallowsbunny.

"It's the weekend? Grade papers and prep for next week. It's break? Grade papers and prep some more. Summer break? You'll get two weeks of sanity then start worrying about next year. Parents will yell at you. Students will be disrespectful to you. You will watch some amazing kids not live up to their potential because they are lazy."

Worried man with paper balls
Getty Images/Vetta

7. Author
Moonknight321 neatly summarized the bleak realities of the writing life.

"You'll spend years drafting and redrafting, will get rejected a hundred different times by various publishers, and maybe, just maybe, someone will eventually decide to print it. And then chances are if it gets reviewed, it'll be panned, and no one besides your mom is going to read it, and it will rot away on the back shelves of libraries no one's visited in decades, and all your thoughts/insights/ideas about humanity and all its wonders will mean nothing to anybody ever."

vet and a beautiful British cat
Getty Images

"If you love animals, don't become a vet," writes RobotHeather.

"You see them at their worst and they're not exactly pleased to see you. Think the owners are going to be grateful? They'll mostly complain about the high cost of your services while you struggle to pay your enormous student loans on your $45k salary. An enormous amount of time will be spent covered in blood and fecal matter. And we enjoy one of the higher suicide rates for a reason."


Even the folks designing space shuttles aren't immune to bureaucratic woes.

"I really hope you like being a cog in the military industrial complex because NASA doesn't employ hardly anybody. Guess who makes all those cool satellites...major defense contractors. And the people who send up the most satellites? The military and the NRO, so I hope you like spying on and assisting in killing people. You could be even luckier and directly work on drones or making bombs!" writes AltonBrownsB*lls.

Os looks da série Mad Men (Don Draper)

Believe it or not, working at an advertising agency might be even more soul-crushing than they make it look on Mad Men.

"Your Creative Director is literally Satan. When it comes to you, his job is to criticize. Don't worry, he won't actually help you. He won't actually lead you in any direction. He'll just tell you it's s*** and you should start again, that or you haven't brought enough options to him and you should work harder," writes jimvz.

Paparazzi image of protesting angry celebrity caught unawares on camera

"Think you'll be on the sidelines of an NFL game, tracking snow leopards in Nepal, or on the beaches of St. Martin with scantily clad women?" writes Wormnado. "Nope. Most likely you'll get to hang out with strangers on the weekends at weddings where you shouldn't be drinking. Eight of 10 people don't want to pay you right because their 'cousin has a camera' and will do it for free and they can't appreciate art."

Male surgeon wearing scrubs and mask. Weary expression. Isolated on white.

12. Doctor
You might make bank as a doctor, but money won't save you from falling into a pit of existential despair.

"Prepare yourself for knowledge concerning: how cancer is slowly going to destroy you and everyone you love; how neurodegenerative disease is going to destroy you and everyone you love; how pollution and environmental contamination are going to destroy you and everyone (and everything) you love," writes figgy_puddin.

man in black shirt having a...
Shutterstock / Feel Photo Art

There really is no business like show business. Let's keep it that way, okay?

"There are only two places in America you can make a full-time living with steady work in film/TV production: New York and Los Angeles," writes FishyFred. "You might be able to do it in D.C., but only for specific things. Already, your cost of living is assured to be stratospheric. You will get paid pretty well, but because it's nearly impossible to string together two or more gigs without a gap in there, you're never going to know quite how much money you need in the bank."

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